


Heart to Heart

by KellynKupcake



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: BDSM, Dom/sub, F/M, Humiliation, Mentions of Past Dubious Consent, Mommy Kink, There's no sex in this story!, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:49:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29312871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KellynKupcake/pseuds/KellynKupcake
Summary: An argument leads to John accidentally exposing one of his kinks. Abigail is delighted by this turn of events while John is terrified at the thought of what she could do with this knowledge.
Relationships: Abigail Roberts Marston/John Marston
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	Heart to Heart

**Author's Note:**

> The tags are to warn you guys of things that are mentioned in this story. But sorry everyone, there's no smut. :( 
> 
> Enjoy this mess of feels that is set in the same universe as my other kink related John/Abigail works such as Apologies and Caught. ;)

John stared at the canvas wall of his tent; eyes unblinking as he wondered what the plan was going to be for the day ahead.

Dutch had been increasingly petulant lately and John wasn’t sure exactly what he’d done to earn the man’s distain.

Or if he could fix it

If he even wanted to fix it.

He sighed heavily, bring a hand up to rub at his tired eyes. Desperately wishing he could sleep.

He had been awake for hours. Just staring. Thinking. He was starting to drive himself insane.

He’d tried to remember the last time he’d slept well. Frowning at the cloth in front of him as he came to the realisation that it had been months.

Footsteps behind him caught his attention and he finally ripped his gaze away from the wall, turning to see Abigail standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

He turned back to his previous position. He didn’t really have anything to say to her lately.

She had been increasingly impatient with him and his lack of motivation and he himself was cranky and irritable from lack of sleep.

It seemed every conversation they had lately ended in fighting or fucking. He couldn’t really complain about the second part but if he was being truly honest, he was tired of that too.

Abigail had always been the dominant one in their relationship but lately he was finding her domineering personality intolerable even inside the bedroom.

She was pissed at him whether she knew it or not and while he didn’t usually mind being her plaything, lately he was suffering at her hand. Unable to complain because ultimately their encounters always ended in his orgasm regardless of his deeper feelings.

“Will you get up?” Abigail scolded, interrupting his thoughts. He didn’t reply, staring blanky ahead of him as he heard her draw closer. “John?” She asked, touching his arm lightly and exhaling softly as she caught sight of his face. “You look like crap.” She commented bluntly, making him scowl.

He turned to face her as she sat down on the cot next to him. Knowing her comment was meant in jest but also made out of genuine concern.

Or at least he hoped that was it.

“It’s still early.” He said eventually, eyes locking on to hers as he blinked wearily.

“It’s nearly Nine.” Abigail corrected, her tone implying that he was very lazy.

He stared at her sadly, admiring the way the sunlight played on her sharp cheekbones and made her hair shine.

She was beautiful.

Mean.

But beautiful.

John placed a hand on her thigh, thinking momentarily before opening his arms and gesturing for her to lie in them. She furrowed her brows, looking annoyed before pushing his arms away.

“I ain’t in the mood.” She said briskly, adjusting the collar of her shirt before letting her hands fall to her lap.

“I just want you to lie with me.” John said frankly. Frustrated by her assumption and her rejection.

“Why?” Abigail asked, sounding irritated.

“Ugh.” John grunted, rolling his eyes. “Forget it.” He muttered, rolling away from her once more.

Abigail felt a tinge of regret at the way she had spoken. He had been annoying the hell out of her lately but he was a good person and he always tried his best for her.

She huffed a small sigh, placing her hand on his arm and rolling him back towards her.

“I mean why…” She struggled with the words. Not usually one to be comforting. “Why would I lie with you when you’re about to get up?” She asked, smiling as kindly as she could. He saw right though it. Sad eyes looking away from hers as he rolled away once more.

“Because I can’t sleep.” He answered honestly, surprising himself. “I always sleep better when you’re around.” He mumbled softly, feeling embarrassed by his admission.

“Oh.” Abigail said quietly, not expecting such an honest and open answer. John wasn’t usually this free with his feelings. Perhaps the lack of sleep was finally starting to bring him undone. “Well, I guess I could lie in for a minute.” She said as he turned to look at her once more.

“Forget it.” He grumbled, moving the covers off himself and pushing passed her to stand. Abigail watched him regrettably, standing herself and saying something about having breakfast together while John pulled his boots on.

“Mhmm.” He hummed tersely, pressing his heel into the dirt so it was snug with the sole of his boot.

“Why are you in such a crappy mood?” Abigail asked, her feathers ruffled by his dismissal.

“Could ask the same of you.” John countered with a sarcastic smile as he rummaged through his things looking for his belt.

“Well maybe sometimes your crappy mood rubs off on others and puts me in crappy mood.” Abigail snapped, trying her hardest to stay calm and prevent another fight. “Did you ever think of that?” She asked bluntly as John returned to her side, fastening his belt.

“Well maybe sometimes…” John began in a mocking tone. “You nag me too much and don’t give me a minute of peace.” He said, only a few octaves off shouting.

“Well maybe…” Abigail growled. “You shouldn’t be such a lazy bastard and I wouldn’t need to nag you as much!” She snapped.

“Well!” John began, seething. “Maybe sometimes…” He paused, huffing out a breath as he looked her in the eye. “I just feel like you don’t even love me.” He finished softly, clenching his fists as he slumped down hard onto the cot behind them.

Abigail swallowed her retort. Surprised for the second time that day by his candour.

She rolled her eyes, knowing he couldn’t see her from his position. She hated when he pulled this crap.

She turned to look at him pointedly, pursing her lips and sighing heavily through her nose.

“I love you.” She said tersely, slinking down so she was resting on the cot next to him.

It was John’s turn to roll his eyes. Tilting his head and giving her a look of contempt.

“You have to say that when I complain about you not saying it.” He mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at her.

Abigail threw her arms up in exasperation.

“Well, what the hell do you want from me?” She asked in frustration. “You want me to _not_ to say it?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

“I want you to mean it.” John mumbled, not taking his eyes off her. “And you could at least try to sound like you care.” He added.

Abigail exhaled sharply, sucking on her teeth with her tongue and then inching closer to him. She placed a soft palm on his cheek and nodded in his direction.

“I love you John.” She repeated firmly, as naturally as she could but her tone was dripping with condescension.

John glowered at her, not breaking his eye contact as he pushed the hand away from his face and let his arms fall by his side.

“Whatever.” He murmured, finally looking away. Feeling stupid for whining in the first place. He was a man. He shouldn’t be grovelling for affection like a lost puppy.

He was just tired.

Abigail snickered softly. Feeling bad that she had been so cruel. He was good to her for the most part and she loved him dearly. But sometimes he annoyed her so much that she found it physically hard to say out loud how much she adored him.

She inched closer again, her knee scraping his as she placed both hands on his cheeks and pulled his face close to her. Wanting what she said next to be something special that he would remember the next time he felt like complaining. She took a deep breath before she spoke.

“I love you baby.” She whispered tenderly, watching as John’s expression change.

His breath hitched momentarily, his cheeks flushing almost instantly as he averted his eyes. Staring off to the side as he tried his hardest to act natural.

Abigail frowned.

“What?” She asked, confused by his reaction.

“No, nothing.” John said hurriedly, shifting uncomfortably under her gaze. “Thank you.” He croaked, swallowing thickly and refusing to look her in the eye.

“Thank you?” She asked, pulling her hands away and giving him a once over.

“Love you too.” He muttered quickly, his hands coming to rest in his lap as he continued to look anywhere but her eyes.

Abigail’s eyes trailed from the flush on his cheeks to his hands in his lap. A smirk playing on her lips as she started to piece things together.

“Did you… Like that?” She asked softly, eyeing his badly concealed erection. John didn’t respond. His jaw clenching as he tried to compose himself. “You like being called baby?” She asked in a sultry tone.

John closed his eyes, inhaling deeply and refusing to engage with her. He wasn’t sure he’d ever been quite so embarrassed while he was alone with her. His body had betrayed him before. But nothing like this.

Abigail was smiling far too widely for the situation. She was grinning like an idiot as she leaned towards him. Taking advantage of the fact he refused to open his eyes and bringing her lips to his ear without his knowledge.

“Baby.” She whispered, making him jump and shiver violently. His eyes flew open and he looked to her with a panicked expression.

She was going to tell people.

Abigail studied the look on his face, feeling a little bad for playing with him like that. Lord knows she had her own kinks and he indulged them eagerly.

It just so happened that one of her favourite kinks was humiliation or more specifically, humiliating him. 

John knew this well and judging by the look on his face in that moment he was terrified of her getting her kicks using this newfound information.

“Don’t worry.” She chuckled, bringing her hand up to push his hair out of his face as she smiled at him cheekily. “Your secret’s safe with me, baby.”

“Stop.” John grumbled as sternly as he could.

“Come on John, you think you’re the first man I ever bedded with a Mommy Kink?” Abigail asked with a laugh, causing John’s eyes to widen in horror.

“I _don’t_ have a Mommy Kink!” He exclaimed heatedly. “I just…” He stuttered. “I.. Sometimes I…” He trailed off, groaning in exasperation as he finally moved his hands from his lap and rubbed at his face irately.

“Like being my baby?” Abigail asked casually, shrugging as John exhaled forcefully.

“Stop.” He demanded gruffly. Danger in his eyes as he glared into hers. “It’s not… Like that.” He grunted. “I just, like the word.” He said, crossing his arms once more. “I guess.” He spat, shrugging and looking away.

Abigail hummed in reply, letting her hand trail lightly over his thigh as she thought. John fidgeted under her touch, desperately wanting to be mad at her.

“Is that why you always want to be the little spoon?” She asked after a moment, making John groan as he placed his head in his hands. “Or why you love it when I stroke your hair?” She asked, thinking out loud and making him whine.

“Please…” He sighed through his palms, begging her to let it go. He didn’t want this getting out. He didn’t even want her to know. The thought of the other guys finding out he loved to be babied made his blood run cold.

It was absolutely mortifying.

Abigail chuckled to herself, taking the hand that was on his thigh and letting it run through his hair. Her nails scratching at his scalp in just the way she knew he liked. 

They had been together a long time and during those long years John had only occasionally plucked up the courage to tell her about some of the things he liked. She always indulged him when he was brave enough to talk to her. But she was also well aware there were lots of things John thought about in the privacy of his own mind that she might never know about.

She never really understood his secrecy. She was an open book when it came to sex. He had known from day one who she was and what she liked. But she supposed a part of that came from her history as a prostitute. She couldn’t expect everyone to have the pluck that she had when it came to naming their kinks.

“You know you can talk to me about this stuff, right?” She asked after a long moment of silence. Her voice uncharacteristically soft as she brought her hand to his shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. “I guess I just don’t understand why you always keep your desires from me.” She said quietly, thinking out loud once more.

John swallowed audibly, tongue darting out to lick at his lips before he pulled his hands away from his face.

“I’m scared.” He said quietly. Shocking her. John was never one to admit his weakness if he could help it. She’d once seen him carry two sacks of rice over his shoulder with a broken ankle just to prove he didn’t need to rest.

Of course he’d spent the next 3 days in bed with his ankle swollen up to the size of a large grapefruit but he’d made his point.

“It’s okay to like things that are diff-” Abigail began, being cut off abruptly as John spoke.

“No.” He said firmly, his face serious. “I’m scared of you.” He clarified, making her balk.

“Wha-“ She began, being cut off again.

“I’m scared of you telling people about the things I like because you get off on it.” He hissed, looking away from her sadly. “You’ve done it before.” He reminded her. “I… I like being pushed around and told what to do, okay?” He asked, taking a tangential turn as he tried to gather his thoughts. “But I like it, because you like it and only when we’re alone. When you involve other people it makes me want to die.” He said strongly, making Abigail blink in surprise. She had no idea he felt that way. She was under the impression he was into the games they played.

“You always take the things I say in our arguments and throw them back at me when we’re fucking.” He snapped crudely. “You want to humiliate me. I get it. I’m okay with it… Mostly.” He swallowed, pursing his lips as he held out his hands like it would help him think. “But, sometimes you go too far and… fuck.” He whispered, feeling a burning behind his eyes and trying his hardest to ignore it. “I’m… having a hard time reminding myself that you don’t mean it.” He said softly. Trailing off as he lost his momentum. “I love you but I... I can’t trust you not to hurt me.” He said tiredly.

Abigail moved her hand from his shoulder, placing it in her own lap and thinking carefully before she spoke. She had an inkling that sometimes she pushed him too far. But she always figured that if he had a problem with it he would speak up.

He was always so confident and outspoken outside of sex. She never would have guessed that he would be too timid to tell her off if he didn’t like something.

“I’m sorry.” She said earnestly, with a small shrug of her shoulders. “I had no idea.” She explained, knowing deep down that it didn’t help.

John eyed her suspiciously. It wasn’t like her to take responsibility so easily.

“Okay…” He replied after a moment. Unsure what to do now that she had simply agreed with him. If he was honest he had been expecting a blow-out fight.

“I thought you liked… everything.” Abigail said softly, not making eye contact as she spoke. “I’ll try to be a little more in-tune with what you want from now on.” She assured, placing her hand on his thigh and petting him softly.

“Okay.” John repeated, feeling silly for not being able to say anything else in the moment. He was still riding the high of letting out his feelings without a rebuttal.

“Maybe, we can come up with a word or something.” Abigail suggested with a shrug, making John frown.

“I guess.” He said bluntly, looking uncomfortable. He didn’t want to need a safe word. He didn’t want to come up with one just for him. He didn’t want to be weak.

Abigail followed his train of thought, feeling bad for him.

“There’s no shame in it, John.” She whispered, making him avert his eyes once more.

“Not for you.” He spat, a little more aggressively than he’d meant to. “You won’t be the one usin’ it.” He said, quieter.

“Sure I will.” She replied kindly. Trailing off and letting the silence fall over them as she tried to think of what to say next.

The day was getting on she had only intended to step away from Jack for a minute. Not to sit down for a proper heart to heart.

A small part of her was screaming that John needed her in this moment. But another was crying out that she needed to get away from him. Take time to process everything that was said so she could really take it to heart and prevent another fight in the future.

“Well anyways… It’s getting late and I want to check on Jack.” She said finally, trying to end the conversation as tastefully as she could.

“Okay.” John replied quietly. Not really sure what else to say. His chest felt weird and while the burning behind his eyes had dulled significantly; it was still there.

He swallowed thickly, staring at his hands as he waited for her to leave.

“So… No calling you baby?” Abigail asked with a chuckle, feeling the need to try and lighten the mood before she left.

“Well…” John said quickly, opening his mouth to speak but not finding the words. “I… I mean. Maybe.” He trailed off once more, his throat suddenly feeling very dry. “Maybe, maybe sometimes.” He sputtered. “Maybe when, you’re…” He paused, hands moving to his lap once more. “T-telling me what to do.” He stammered. A far cry from the confident, assertive man he had been during their fight, minutes earlier.

Abigail’s lips quirked as she looked him over once again.

“Alright.” She said softly, nodding. She really did want him to feel like he could tell her anything and if she was being totally honest, she definitely wanted to explore whatever this new kink of his was.

She figured if she played her cards right, she could be calling him a naughty boy and spanking him by the end of the week.

Once they’d worked out their safe-word of course.

She grinned lightly, trying to hide it as John gave her an incredulous look.

“Seriously?” He asked in exasperation.

“I’m sorry.” Abigail said as sincerely as she could manage before forcing herself to stand. She straightened her skirt with her palms before placing them on her hips and turning to him with the most serious face she could manage.

John blinked at her slowly, rolling his eyes.

“Go on.” He sighed, knowing full well she had something she wanted to say.

Abigail snorted, losing her composure and breaking into an all-out grin as she cackled.

“Well, Mumma’s gotta’ go get some breakfast.” She chortled as she walked outside and left him alone to regret getting out of bed.

**Author's Note:**

> Just to clarify I wouldn’t say John actually has a Mommy Kink per say, that was more Abigail teasing him. (not that there’s anything wrong with that, you do you as consenting adults) but he definitely does like being taken care of and babied in the privacy of his own tent/home. So do with that info what you will. ;) 
> 
> Please let me know if you liked this/what you liked about it! I’m feeling a rush of motivation lately and would love to keep this streak going!! ❤


End file.
